At a play date today, I was talking about this with a friend and thought I would share it with all of you. It is both interesting and funny... and a bit of a conundrum I suppose.
It would be accurate to say that the number one reason my son ends up in time out is for being mean (usually hitting/pushing) his younger sister. Now, the whole point of time out, in my mind, is to separate the child from the situation, give him a chance to cool off, and to think about what he did wrong or might do better the next time. It's a teaching tool. Now, I realize that's asking a bit much for a 3 year old but that's the idea behind the whole thing.
Almost the instant my son resigns himself to his timeout spot, my daughter happily joins him. Now if my son is really angry about something, this only serves to anger him further. But most of the time, he thinks it's funny, and so she thinks it's funny, and then before you know it the two of them are laughing, playing, and having a good ol' time in timeout.
Now seriously, what am I supposed to so? I mean, he really should be sitting alone in time out. Timeout is pretty ineffective if he has playmates in timeout with him and is having a great time, right? But on the other hand, a timeout isn't meant to be punishment so much as it is to be used as a teaching tool. And if they are getting along, isn't that really what I wanted to begin with? So I mean really, what on earth is the "right" thing to do, if there is such a thing?
One thing that I learn over and over, is that parenting is a very humbling experience. As much as you feel like you know, as smart as you feel like you are, it is often difficult to discern the "right" answer.
Sincerely,
The Condundrum-ed Mother (Yup, I totally made up a word...)
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