Help Wanted: The Ignorant Need Not Apply

Help Wanted:  Someone who can write reviews online for products they have purchased.  The reviews must contain useful information and be generally helpful to those interested in buying the product.  The Ignorant Need Not Apply.  You might be ignorant if you have done any of the following while writing a review for a product:

1.  Given the product a poor rating because it was damaged during shipping.  I realize that one might be frustrated in this scenario because now they have to go through the hassle of returning the damaged one and getting a new one.  But it's the risk you run when you buy online.  Unless the company who made the product hand delivered the product to your door, and thus the damaged product is a direct reflection of that company, you should not be leaving a bad review for this reason.  Complain to your hubby, your bestie, your mommy, or even take to your blog and complain to your bloggies (I totally just made that up, think groupie, without the sexual undertone, but for bloggers), but please don't complain about it in your review.

2.  Given the product a poor rating because you received the wrong color of the item you ordered.  Mistakes happen.  So unless you send the first one back and the second is still the wrong color (which may signal an issue), I don't think it's worth mentioning.  Refer to number 1 as to what you should do with your complaints.

3.  Given the product a poor rating because you claim the description of the item differs in some way from the item you received.  Before you claim that certain things were missing, perhaps you should go back and read the description to make sure that it is explicitly stated that you are going to receive what you think you should.  Just because you think something should come with the hardware needed for installation, for instance, doesn't mean that it actually comes with it.  And you know what happens when you assume things. So before you make yourself look silly and post something about how the product wasn't accurately described, go back and reread the item description.  Nine times out of ten, people just don't read things carefully enough.

4.  Given a product a good rating even though you haven't used it yet.  A review is not the place to talk about how excited you are that you received the product you ordered.  I am happy for you, really.  I know the joy of opening the box of something you have been waiting for.  But seriously, sharing your joy with others is just plain silly, and not the least bit helpful.  Refer to number 1 to see who you should share your joy with.

If you have done any (or all) of these things, please refrain from ever writing a review again so that I no longer have to waste my time sifting through reviews.  A little commonsense goes a long way...

Sincerely,
The Annoyed Online Shopper